


you’re still the good for nothing i don’t know

by gottabewhatomorrowneeds



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: :(, Aged-Up Character(s), Foreshadowing, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage, NOT edited we die like nonbinary bastards, Nonbinary Party Poison, Other, Single Parents, Smoking, age wise if ur curious party is 20 and Jet is like 25, fuck gender!!!!, if it needs to be tagged I will, jet stars smart!!!, most every one is mentioned, not sure if i like this one but eh., party poison aka constantly on the verge of a break down but also constantly ignoring it, pre-sing & na na na, since they’re technically canonly like teens., soft of implied abusive relationship?, theyre doing their best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gottabewhatomorrowneeds/pseuds/gottabewhatomorrowneeds
Summary: Jet Star wonders about the Girl’s parents. Party Poison has the answer.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	you’re still the good for nothing i don’t know

There's a running rumor in the zones about who the father of the Girl is. Ever since the desert saw the Girl for the first time in the hands of the Fab Four, the theories over who she is and where she came from skyrocketed. It felt as if every killjoy in every zone had some hypothesis about the Girl's lineage. 

The most common theory running amok was that Jet Star was the Girl's father. Really, the idea kind of annoyed him. Other than similar hair, the two of them looked nothing alike. But the blaring similarity was enough for the theory to latch on, and now most of the public believes him to be the father.

But if you look past the curls, you'll see just whose eyes she has, whose nose she takes after. You'll see the same swirl of galaxy-like freckles, the same thick lashes. You'll see the same hands and bony fingers, the same stride in runs. You'll see the same laughter and the same smile. It's not as glaringly obvious as hair texture or color, but the signs are there.

And when Jet Star looked closer, he saw the evidence stack up.

Party Poison.

She had their eyes, the same shade with the same capacity to emote. They shared the same smile, too wide and coy to really be a grin but not quite smug enough to be a smirk. They shared the same freckles, which splattered their skin like stars across the sky. They had the same laugh, a bit too loud but always genuine.

Jet Star didn't like to theorize like the others, but the evidence was pretty strong. He's not sure if anyone else shares his sentiments. Kobra Kid and Fun Ghoul are just as clueless over her parents as anyone else. He's listened to them debate over who the real parents are, listened to them cross out Jet Star as a possibility. They seem pretty wrapped up in this debate as well.

Jet didn't dare tell them of his findings. He wasn't sure how they'd react, and he wasn't even sure if he was right. Besides, how would Kobra Kid feel, knowing his brother had a kid without telling him? 

He has a feeling he is right, however. The timeline sort of matches up, really. And Party Poison was the one to find the Girl. 

He sat on the back of the diner, in an area that used to be the outdoor venue. He leaned against the guard rails, staring up at the sky. The stars are dim and sparse, and Jet thinks of the stories his mother would tell him of how there used to be billions of stars that glimmered like spilled glitter. He knows the stars are still there, covered by a haze of pollution from the city and from the atomic wars of the past, but sometimes he can't help but wonder if the stars hadn't abandoned them too.

He was musing over the Girl as he stared, still thinking over the evidence that he had collected. It was hard not to think about it, knowing the 'leader' had a secret love child. Question after question sprung up upon the realization that Party was a parent. Jet couldn't help but wonder who the other parent was. 

The door creaks open slightly. Jet Star only spares a glance and finds his vision filled with red. Party Poison enters the scene, and they look as exhausted as he's ever seen them.

Party leans against the rail next to Jet and stares up at the sky like they're begging it for answers. Jet Star contemplated what to say for a moment as he puffed on his cigarette. It was a bad habit, really, and he ought to quit, but out of all the Fab Four, he's inclined to believe he's deserved a self-destructive behavior. It's not as bad as Ghoul's arson addiction.

He fiddles with the cigarette package and decides to properly acknowledge his friend. He tilts the carton towards them. "Want one?"

Party sends him a wry smile. "You should know the answer."

Jet Star stuffs the cigarettes in his jacket pocket. Party loathed cigarettes just as they loathed alcohol and anything else of the like. Knowing their past, it wasn't hard to figure out why. Poison didn't like to lose control and certainly didn't want to develop any more dependencies and addictions. They'd already suffered from withdrawals from the medication in Battery City, and they'd already been brainwashed into that dangerous codependency. In their mind, they didn't want to risk losing themself again.

"Just thought I'd offer as a conversation starter. But I'll get to the point. What's on your mind?"

Poison remained quiet. Jet let them. It was best to let them think because this meant the topic was obviously important. Party was more of a speak first, regret later person.

"I guess... do you think we're doing the right thing? Taking care of the Girl?" A small frown creases their face, and they're staring back at the sky now, avoiding Jet's expression. "You know I hate second-guessing myself, and I'm not, really, but was this the right call?"

"Why wouldn't this be the right call?"

"Every day I feel like we're putting her in more and more danger. BLi has always had it out for me, painting a huge red target on my back ever since I left Battery City. And now that we're infamous killjoys who have been attempting to crumble their empire, all of us have attracted BLi's attention, and BLi is going to hunt us down. I just..." Poison turned their eyes back to Jet. They were guarded, and that steely wall they always kept was cracked ever so slightly. They really were nervous. "We can only keep up with this chase for so long. You know as well as I do that we're going to die in one of these firefights, and now were either taking the Girl with us or we're going to leave her behind. Is it fair to her?"

"The Girl made a choice that day, too. She wants to be here with us."

"But she doesn't understand the possible repercussions. She doesn't understand that she could die every time she comes out of the diner with us. She doesn't understand that were dangerous criminals who BLi is going to massacre once they get their hands on us. She's four, she can't possibly understand what she agreed to."

"Maybe not, but would you rather her be sent off to one of those safe zones? Would you rather she be tucked away in a village of other children, without any family to take care and love her?"

Party is quiet. "I guess not."

"Really, she's the safest here right by our sides. We're all skilled fighters, probably the best in the zones. What we do is risky, but the reason we get away with it is that we can take care of ourselves. We're strong. No one else could protect her as we can."

"True. I mean, when she's under the protection of the strongest killjoy out there- me- then I guess she has to be pretty safe." 

Jet Star rolled his eyes but otherwise didn't argue. He'd rather not get into the technicalities of who the best of their team was. Poison hummed as they moved closer towards Jet, not quite touching, but certainly not far away.

"I have a question," Jet Star finally began, breaking the silence. Party watches him with guarded eyes. Jet Star's not actually sure if they'll answer him honestly- Party Poison loves their secrets, accumulating them like some did with soda cans or old collectibles before the war. And they liked to keep them. "Since we're talking about the Girl and all... you know there's a lot of speculation on the Girl's parents, right?"

Poison's eyes flickered in the dark. "Yes?"

"Well, since you're the one that found her and all, do you know who her parents are?" Or were. Jet Star knows the mother is dead- he's brought the Girl to the mailbox a couple of times to mail her letters.

Poison settles their gaze upon the stars once again. "Yes." Their voice is soft, and it feels strange to hear them make a sound like that. Their gravelly voice that was always worn out from screaming battle cries or hysterical laughter or from just yelling a story too loudly while sharing it sounded bizarre when spoken with a gentleness Jet only heard used towards the Girl.

They didn't add anything more.

"Will you tell me who they are?"

"No."

"What if I guess?"

Party frowns, and they glance back at Jet Star. Something unreadable passes across their face, a flicker of something dim but otherwise unrecognizable. "I have a feeling you already know who they are."

"Humour me and tell me if I'm right."

Party glanced away. "Fine. Give a name and I'll shoot them down."

"You."

"That's not a name."

"Deflection? Come on Party, don't bother. I know you're one of the parents. It's so obvious."

Party lets out a dramatic sigh- always one for the theatrics. They turn over and lean on the rail with their back, facing the doors of the diner. "What do you want me to say? Yes, that I have a secret bastard child?"

"I mean, yeah. That is what I wanted to hear."

Party sent Jet a withering glare. Jet smiled softly back. "Ha, ha. But yeah. The Girl's mine. How'd you figure that out? Even Kobra hasn't, and that bastard's actually related to her."

"You have the same smile."

Party Poison's cheeks turned the same infamous shade of red as their hair. They quickly averted their eyes to the ground. "You can't just say that!"

"But it's true!" Jet Star laughed and set and elbow on Party's shoulder. "You have the same eyes, the same laugh, the same smile, and the same freckles."

Party's mouth twisted into a wry grin, their cheeks still dusted in red. "You really think we have the same eyes?"

"Same shape and colour."

"She got the good bargain of genes then, if she looks so much like me. Maybe in another life, she could be a supermodel." Party bats their lashes and lets out a soft laugh. "She's already so pretty. I bet she'll grow up to look even more attractive than me, and trust me when I say that that's saying something."

"You know, a compliment's value kinda lessens when you make it about you."

"Eh, she understands."

"Does she know?"

"That she's cute? I tell her that daily to inflate her ego like mine, so hopefully."

"No." Jet Star's tone becomes a bit more serious. As much as he loved the banter, he couldn't help the curiosity clawing at his brain. "Does she know you're her parent?"

Party dims ever so slightly. They glance at him, a frown twisting their features. "No. I... I couldn't bring myself to tell her.” 

"What? Why not?"

Their face scrunches up. "Logistically? I'm afraid that the Girl will be used as leverage against me. If BLi finds out I have a kid, they're gonna go through hell and back to take her away from me. That's why I didn't tell any of you, either. I was worried someone might say the wrong thing and let it slip. She's a good girl, but I'm nervous that if I tell her, she might end up blabbing and then BLi will paint a huge target on her back. She already lives with us, and there's already so much risk involved that I don't want to improve BLi's chances of interest in her."

Jet Star nods, gently. "I see." Something bothered him, though. "Logistically? Is there another side?"

Party Poison doesn't say a word for a little while, remaining as silent as a statue. It reminds Jet Star of when they first met, all that time ago. When Party had broken out from Battery City just months earlier and was still suffering from withdrawals, still shaking like a leaf and still deathly pale. They were so quiet, and Jet Star often felt the kid was more akin to a ghost.

"I'm... worried that she'll be disappointed." They flail their hands like the concept is wildly embarrassing. For Party, he supposed it is. "I mean, I'm amazing and charismatic and really, I'm quite the catch, but... well. She... deserves better."

Party pauses. They're thinking, trying to work through how to convey their feelings. It's a lot better than when they first met, when Party just bottled everything up. They still do, but their repression tendencies aren't near as terrible as they were so long ago.

"Does she want a parent that's only sixteen years older than her? Does she want me, a reckless, careless bastard who only cares about themself? Does she want the leader of an entire rebellion who doesn't have time to love and care for her? Does she want a parent who will die, who will absolutely die not for her, but for the rebellion? Who probably won't live to see her grow up, as a teenager, as a woman? Who won't see her first crush, who won't see her do anything because I will die before she has the chance to grow past even ten? Does she want me?

"Does she want an ex-exterminator for a parent? Does she want a murderer? A person with so many victims to their name, so much blood on their hands that not even with all the soap in the world could wash away all the stains? Does she want that? Does she want a selfish murderer who will die too young to even end up mattering in her life? Does she want me?"

They break off, their voice breaking slightly. Their lips are quivering, their knuckles white from holding on to the rail so tightly. They refuse to look at Jet Star, focusing solely on the stars above. "Does she want all of me?"

Jet Star doesn't know what to say. Jet Star doesn't know, because he's never been in this situation before. He acts like he knows everything because he's been through everything. He knows how long a building has before it will collapse from structural damage from a fire, he knows how to wire a bomb, he knows how to console a person when they lose a loved one, he knows long division and he knows how to shoot a gun with devastating accuracy. Jet Star doesn't know anything about parenthood. Jet Star's own parents weren't even in his life for that long- he never knew his father, and his mother died when he was young. He can't help.

He wraps an arm around Party's shoulder and feels them curl into them. They are freezing, standing int the empty night in nothing but a t-shirt and some jeans. Party's very obviously trying not to start wailing, because Party knows that once they start, they won't be able to stop, and views crying as a weakness. 

"Does she want a weapon for a parent?"

Jet Star rubs circles as gently as he can. "You're not a weapon." The concept of being nothing more than plastic was drilled into Party Poison's head for years and years, and Jet Star know sometimes they don't think of themselves as a person. They try to grow and they try to forget, but years of believing yourself as nothing more than a grenade to be used at any one direction changes a person. "You're a human being with many flaws, but you also have so many great attributes too."

Party huffs, sounding like they're ready to contest that. Something changes though, and instead, "Yeah. I am pretty great."

"The Girl is lucky to have you as a parent. You don't have a great past, but that doesn't matter. What matters is the future you can provide for her. And it's a tough lesson for her to learn, but she'll understand the importance of our cause. You'll die for her. You'll die for her and her entire generation, and the generation after that. You'll die for her freedom."

Party Poison cries. It is soundless, absolutely silent, and Jet Star doesn't even notice it at first. They shiver and they cry, but they don't say a single word, they don't make a single noise. 

"It's hard, and I'm not saying she won't resent you. But she'll understand that you're not being selfish, and you're not giving her up."

The Girl has a good head on her shoulders. She's only four, and she still has so much of the world left to live. Jet Star is certain that she'll understand that when the time for all of them comes, it's only out of necessity for the war they were battling.

"She won't care how young you are. She won't care if you're a mess. The only thing she'll care about is how much you try. And I know you are trying so hard, and I know that you love her with every atom in your body because that's just how you love. You love with no restraint. And she knows that you love her, and she'll understand that you're doing you're best. She needs you, Party. You're her last remaining family, and she deserves to know that, because she needs that. That's what she'll care about- not your past, not anything but that you simply gave you're all."

Party Posion cries and cries and cries. Jet Star is almost worried about the prospect of dehydration, but now isn't the time to chide them over that. Now is the time to simply hold them, and to not dare let go.

A few moments pass. Party Poison wipes their eyes and breaks away from Jet Star, looking utterly embarrassed. “Thank you, Star.”

Jet Star smiles softly. “Will you tell her?”

“One day.” They rub their cheek, biting their lip. “I will tell her. I promise. Just, once it’s safe. Or less dangerous. But not now. I want to become someone she’d be proud of first, like I’m proud of her.” They slam their fist into the palm of their hand, a determination sparking in their eyes. Jet Star knows that Party Poison will do just as they say- once they’ve made up their mind, it’s impossible to deter them.

Jet Star hums, watching as a light begins to glow inside them. He doesn’t want to overwhelm them, and doesn’t want to dredge up any possible bad memories, but he’s still brimming with curiosity. He puffs on a cigarettes for a few moments before taking it out to wave as he spoke. 

“I’ve got a question or two that I’d like to ask. If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine. You don’t owe me anything.” 

“Fire away.”

Jet hums. “Who was the Girl’s mother?”

Party remains silent for moment, pausing almost dramatically. “She was a killjoy, just like us. I don’t... want to give her name. You’d recognise her if I told you.” They stare at their hands, before placing one on their chest. “She was a rebel.” 

“What was she like? How’d you meet?”

“I used to work for Hot Chimp, at her nightclub, remember?” Jet Star certainly did, because he had visited the place once while Party Poison was still working there. Jet Star still gets a bit flustered thinking about them having pole dances right in front of him. “Yeah. We met there. Things got kinda frisky, and well, the Girl probabaly got conceived.”

Party fidgeted with their prayer beads. “We kept seeing each other, and sort of became like in a relationship, I guess. I was really enamoured with her, because she was the first person who had loved me. I’d never been loved, not as a Drac or an exterminator. And she loved me. And so we kept up a relationship.

“She was a real firecracker. She was strong and hot headed and I think she did love me.” Party sighed. “But the relationship we had wasn’t healthy. I was sixteen, and I’m not really sure how old she was, but she was definitely older than me. She was too controlling and too... soul sucking. If I didn’t please her, then it would turn nasty. She always placed the blame on me. It wasn’t good, but I just figured that I was the screw up in the relationship, because that’s what she kept telling me. 

“Then the Girl was born. She... she pushed me away. Said she didn’t want me messing this one up. Said she’d raise her herself, since I was no good.” Party hummed. “It’s for the best, really. I was barely seventeen at that point. I had just reunited with my brother, and Dr. D had begun to take an interest in me. I couldn’t handle the added stress of a child.

“Anyway, for those four years, she took care of her. And I tried to visit her, I really did. Sometimes she’d let me in, sometimes she wouldn’t let me see her.”

Party huffs. “But i guess in the end, it wouldn’t matter.”

“Is she... is she really dead?”

“Yep. Korse nailed her right in the heart. I watched.” Jet Star’s blood ran cold. “Dr. D sent me over there to try and stop a raid Korse was attempting, a couple months ago. I tried, and I was able to drive out Korse, but she’d been killed in the effort. I cremated her, like she’d wanted. And then I picked up the Girl, and I took her home.”

Jet Star couldn’t look at Party. “You loved her, huh?”

“I did. I think I still do, to be honest. If she hadn’t cut me off, I probably still would have chased after her. It wasn’t a good relationship, and I recognise that now, but she was my first love. And it brought about the Girl.” Party smiles, gently. “Guess good things can always bloom out of bad things, huh?”

Jet Star nodded. “I guess so.”

“You got anymore questions?”

“No, not really.” Jet’s not sure how far he’s really wanna dive into Party Poison’s past. 

“I’m gonna go tell the Girl her bedtime story then.” Party rapped their chin as they moved away from the rail. “Maybe I’ll tell her the story of how two killjoys fell in love and created the saviour of the zones. Seemed like you enjoyed the story.”

“Why’d you tell me, anyway? You could’ve lied.”

“You already knew the truth.” Party shrugged. “Genetics are pretty hard to cover up. And I...”

Party trails off. There’s a hard look in their eyes, full of steel and brimstone and fire. Their jaw is locked, and Jet knows he’s not going to like whatever they’re going to say.

“Well, in case I do end up dying for her, I’d like someone to know the whole story, in case I don’t live long enough to tell her myself.”

“You will.” Party begins to walk away, their only response a wave of their hand. A question bubbles under Jet’s skin. “You’d really die for her, huh?”

“Yes.” There’s a fire beneath those words, simmering just below the surface of their skin. Party turns back to face Jet, and their eyes are alight with sparks. There’s no heistation and no question in their voice. It’s a fact. “I would die for her a thousand time and a thousand times more to keep her safe. I love you guys to bits, but...”

Their eyes are dark now. Their expression is one of remorse. “I will chose her safety over all of us any day. I know she’s important, and I know she has the biggest destiny out of all of us. You deserve to know that.”

Party Poison walked away, and Jet Star let them. Jet Star stared at the sky, watching the twinkling of stars above. Somehow, Jet Star thinks Party Poison’s last words are going to mean something in the future. And Jet Star desperately hopes that the Girl will know just how much Poison loves her, and just what their relationship is before whatever happens.

Jet Star stamps out his cigarette. But that’s in the future. What matters is now. The Girl is safe in Party’s arms. And Party will walk through hellfire to keep it that way.

Jet Star knows that he will too.

**Author's Note:**

> FYI don’t assume party’s agab. the mother could be trans.
> 
> tbh this was an interesting concept but idk. my favourite theory is the one where the mother is the lover in bullets, and that the father is the guy who killed like 1000 men to bring her back by making a deal with the devil (or very possibly the Phoenix Witch). it would be a very neat tie in!


End file.
